The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
