I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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