that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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