You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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