I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
