I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
