It's like God shit irony all over that family
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
