I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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