Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
