Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
