You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
