Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
