Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize