im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
