everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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