I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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