Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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