yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
