Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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