D3 body, D1 cock
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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