Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
