i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
