Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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