Your face is a jimmy john
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
