Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
North Korea, Best Korea!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you traded sex for a burrito?
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i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me