Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just googled if crying burns calories
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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