i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We had to coat check the pizza.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.