Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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