Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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