To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW