On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.