so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize