drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
