I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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