Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
