she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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