So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
