So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
