uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize