I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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