I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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