I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
too bad you live with your parents still
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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