Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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