the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
