is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
