You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
