Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
