I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
