It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
