i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Two words: nipple clamps
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