i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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