ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
