You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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