You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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