she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
