I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
should my penis look like a turkey
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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