do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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