I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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